Nothing to do with Soda

My friend Ashley has a hilarious Blog. I suppose it's even MORE hilarious to people who know her well. But it cracks me up. It's here.

On the blog is a list of 90 really random facts about her.
Today I told her I was going to copy the list and re-write it to me really random facts about ME.

Expecting her to tell me how immature that would be, I was instead given the 'go ahead'.
So I went ahead.

Without any further ado, here are "90 really random facts about me" :
1. I've been cooking since I was 10 when I deemed my father’s cooking God Awful at best.
2. I love to wear Black. And no, I’m not Gothic. I’m not Johnny Cash either.
3. I’ve only been a “best man” in one wedding, and I had to share the honor with another ‘best friend’. So I guess I was the ‘Second Best Man’. .
4. My kids are gorgeous. No, really…
5. I only have a handful of people I call ‘Good Friends’. But I like everyone else all the same.
6. I'm not big on talking on the phone. I’d rather text or e-mail so I can multi-task.
7. I am not a single parent, although my kids try hard to make my wife and I consider it.
8. I have little patience for stupid people.
9. If I could live right off of a million dollar trust fund and eat Taco Bell twice a week, my life would be perfect.
10. I like my job but hate the shit pay. I'm still here because I can’t decide what I want to be when I grow up.
11. I am not a manly man
12. I've always lived in NJ
13. I do not take pictures. I’ve got a pretty good memory. Pictures make me sad.
14. If it breaks, there's a 90% chance I will break it
15. I'm not allergic to anything.
16. I sing when I drive, and when I play in bands I insist on getting some mic time.
17. I drive my kid crazy because I know all the words to almost all the songs on the radio, and take great pleasure in re-writing them to something silly or offensive.
18. I like to kid around... it sometimes gets me in trouble
19. If I don't like you, you won’t know it because I will ignore you. In fact, I will make you invisible.
20. I am terrified of pain.
21. I’m REALLY terrified of growing so old and feeble that I’ll drool and have to be taken care of 24/7.
22. I absolutely hate sitting in traffic.
23. 1/3 of the people who graduate college aren't using their major. I’m a management major, so I guess I win.
24. I hate going to see family on the holidays.
25. I am the voice of reason.
26. I will not eat anything that someone offers me if the sentence is prefaced by “Taste this. Does this taste spoiled to you?”
27. My favorite color is black. Next is dark blue. Pretty chipper, huh?
28. I have a phobia about eating the ‘last’ or ‘first’ of anything. (lets thank my ex-step mother for that one)
29. I am an very good speller … but I prefer to rush thru my assignments and therefore typos abound
30. my kids are somewhat picky eaters…but they are improving each year
31. I like raw tomatoes
32. I can take or leave dogs, and I don’t ever want to own one.
33. I don’t mind getting flowers … it just never happened because I’m “the guy” in the relationship.
34. I've been to Florida many, many times.
35. I like to learn new things...if I can right away apply them to something.
36. I am pretty good at math, and prefer to NOT use a calculator if I can get away with it.
37. Deep down, I'm a 4 year old boy named “Jody”
38. I’ll take rain on a hot summer day over snow on ANY given day….any given day.
39. If there's something I want to buy I go ahead and buy it. I don’t “shop”. I also don’t buy myself much.
40. There is not a natural blonde anywhere in my family.
41. I would love to have a vegetable garden one day
42. I rarely read instruction manuals
43. I don't mind change AND I adapt well
44. I have never owned a turtle. Or a lizard.
45. I love the smell of laundry soap
46. I'm right handed, but my favorite relative of all time was lefty
47. I hate to wear sandals or flip-flops, and won’t. No matter how hot it is outside.
48. I listen to heavy metal, rock, rap and soft rock... often in the same ride.
49. I think having 2 kids is enough. Really.
50. I still bite my nails
51. I don't smoke, and cannot see the point in doing it.
52. Between my kids and myself we can go through 2 gallons of Apple Juice a week
53. When I'm overtired I get a headache. Then I get very cranky.
54. If there's nothing good on TV, I shut the TV off. I’m also very critical about what constitutes “good”.
55. I read. A lot
56. I tell my family that I love them. I tired that with my friends, but it felt awkward and the reception was lukewarm at best.
57. I wanted to dye my hair midnight blue when I was 20, but chickened out.
58. I can take or leave when girls wear lipstick
59. I will go fishing, but only for the beer, sun and wind in my face.
60. I have a comic book collection
61. I like melted peanut butter on my pancakes…especially when mixed with syrup
62. I could eat Taco Bell or Chinese Food every single day
63. I am very organized
64. I love the book The Stand
65. When I'm in a bad mood I dont want to be cheered up until I'm good & ready.
66. I am really bad at wrapping gifts and prefer to just not do it.
67. I don't like to drink milk
68. My brother and I both insist that our parents favored the other one growing up.
69. I can whistle
70. I had a song I wrote played on college radio for a while back in 1989
71. I miss my grandparents like crazy
72. I don't like strawberry flavored milk
73. I never had a pet lamb, pet cat or pet hamster
74. I only tasted Guacamole about a year ago.
75. Still hate it
76. My desk at work is pretty organized, but could be more so
77. After the house key and the car key, everything else on a key chain is crap
78. I love sushi and wish my kids would try it
79. I don't wear deodorant every day, because I never sweat. I’m not a pig…just weird glands.
80. I'm not a perfectionist, and I know it bites me in the ass sometimes
81. I wear jeans & sneakers as often as I can
82. Obama & Clinton rank very high on the list of ‘Presidents I really don’t like’
83. When I write, my imagination is very vivid. Like I already saw the movie in my head…
84. I think Nutella is DEEEEE-licious
85. I miss my spice rack
86. I am terribly lazy, but I do try.
87. I am nothing like I appear to be
88. I can be painfully insecure
89. I dont think I blush very easily...but I'm very modest
90. I wish I put my creativity to better use.

How opening a can of Whoopass can mean Free Shipping

http://tinyurl.com/3nfmfsg

Ok, so kick the above link and FREE Ground shipping on Whoopass.

Man, I just love to say that word: Whoopass.

LOL! Say it with me: Whoopass

TOO MUCH FUN!

Diet Pepsi's Skinny Can

Look! Diet Pepsi makes a can and calls it "skinny". How clever! Unfortunately, there are many in the fashion world that aren't pleased or humoured.

Jill Beraud, chief marketing officer for PepsiCo said in a statement, "Our slim, attractive new can is the perfect complement to today's most stylish looks..."

Jonathan Asher, senior vice president at Perception Research Services International has a different take: It feels like a cheap shot to get publicity and it would be a shame if that’s what it was. I don’t think calling this can the skinny can and associating it with Fashion Week is going to do much to contribute to the very serious problem of eating disorders...”

I ask you to take the can in context. Pepsi isn't saying that the thin can will make you thin. Diet Pepsi has been around for 40 years...we KNOW it wont be a suitable substitute for fruit and vegetables or water. It's a sexy looking can, and EVERY company worth it's salt tries to package their product in a way that is appealing!

Of course, choosing to use 'Fashion Week' as the time and place to make it's debut is clever/not clever. If you are going to make a statement in front of a group that takes eating disorders seriously...you have to brace yourself for the backlash. Sure, it's a media coup...but it looks like some non-fans were made!

Remember - the soda INSIDE tastes the same. So judge the can in stride and remember to drink wisely...especially if you are dieting.

Cola that isn't Soda

I like all kinds of Soda, but I seem to gravitate towards 'cola' when I order one.

Not necessarily "coca" cola....but a cola nonetheless.

But COLA stands for other things and has interests outside of soda.
(Why anyone would have interests outside of Soda is beyond me...)

COLA also stands for Cost of Living Adjustment.
Yeah, you used to get a raise every year just to keep up with the cost of living.
(Can you believe it?! Where I can I get me one of those?!)
The military still honors this yearly increase.
See the table here.

COLA also stands for the Center for Ocean-Land-Atmosphere.
No, I don't see the point, either.
They coulda' just called it the 'Center About Studying Earth" (CASE).
Or how about the "Center Underscoring Studies of Stuff." (CUSS).
COLAS's website is here, if you are interested.

Seattle has non-profit website built around COLA.
But not soda...and not for grunge music either!
This one is for Dogs. Yeah, really.
It's the Citizens for Off Leash Areas.


Further research shows that you can find all KINDS of definitions for COLA.

But I say we stick to Soda.
That's what I'm about...

Who's Drinking them Energy Drinks?!?!

"FDA Expected to Ban Caffeinated Alcohol Drinks" was the headline I read. It's for an article on MSN's website, and you can read it here.

The comment itself didnt really shock or offend me. In fact, I read the article hoping to see a LIST of such drinks, but they only talked up one...a product called "Four Loko". (although they did mention Joose without really talking about them in any detail.)

If you do a little research, you'll see the names of colleges banning Four Loko due to the ill effects it had on students.

But what DID catch my eye was a quote in the article that says, "The drinks are regularly consumed by 31 percent of 12-to-17-year olds."

That means one out of every three twelve year old...and one out of every three 13 year old...drinks an alcohol and caffeine fueled energy drink.

Here is my question: Where Are the Parents?!
I was 12 once, and I have 12 year olds in my yard every weekend. I know what they do all day long...and I'd like to know why they need a beverage that has alcohol and caffeine in it.
Of COURSE a 12 year old is going to want to try one...and of COURSE if the marketing is good (and the can is cool) they are going to keep drinking them.

But where the hell is the parenting?!
Would you let your 13 year old smoke?
Would you let them drink a glass of wine?
Would you let them take pills that keep them 'up'?

Alcohol and Caffeine-laced energy drinks are NOT the same as juice or soda.
Hell, I know a LOT of parents that don't let their kids drink Soda.
To think that 1/3 of the nation's parents let their kids drink energy drinks is amazing.

Don't tell me that the kids run out to the store and the parents don't know.
I know for a FACT that 12 and 13 year olds leave their junk all over the place...including soda cans. (and a shout out to my neighbors who have NOT taught their kids to pick up after themselves! Thanks for all the extra trash...jerks!)

I'm not "capping" my rant at 13 years old.
14 and 15 year olds dont need to drink this stuff, either.
And at 17 you might just be working and buying whatever you want.

But 12 and 13 is very, very young.
Too young, I would think, to pollute a body with caffeine and alcohol.

Just my 2 cents.

and remember to visit Coke vs. Pepsi, where no page of the site was injected with Alcohol to create what you see there...

Coke, Pepsi and Cholesterol

I had my Cholesterol checked today.
Yeah, I do that every 10 years or so.
Good to stay on top of it. ;)

It's almost exactly where is was 10 years ago.
Only a few points above 200...and I have MUCH more 'good' Cholesterol than 'bad'.

 I guess all that Taco Bell hasn't killed me yet.
And Being an authority on soda hasn't ruined me either.
At least not yet.

Side note:  I used to always mix up HDL and LDL, but a girl once gave me some great advice about how to remember which is "good" and which is "bad". Ready? HDL = Helpful Dudes Laughing. LDL = Lazy Dudes Laughing.  When it comes to the things going on inside your body, do you want your cholesterol atoms and molecules to be Helpful or Lazy? Riiiiiiiiight...


But while it's fun to snub my nose at the health nuts and say 'look at ME. I'm FINE!' I suppose it's fair to give them a fair say. After all, I'm NOT in the majority. My good health is an anomaly. (Maybe I'm an alien. Not like the yellow sun gives me powers or anything but...)

SO...since it's 'Check your Health' day, I bring you:
1) What Soda Does to your Body - personally, I think the article is a cross between 'Scanners' and mass-scare-tactic...but her intentions are good.

2) 1 Daily Soda may boost Heart Disease - what?!?! Don't let this medical journal scare you off! Everything in moderation, right?!

3) Can Diet Soda increase Cholesterol Levels - ok, well you can blame DIET soda...I don't drink diet soda. But still, stop blaming the can of pop, will ya?!




Drink Soda, Enjoy Life.
It's not like we're Jimmy Dean or something...

You Can't get a Pepsi at McDonald's

Really, you can't.

McDonald's carries Coca Cola products, so the idea of the 'other' brand showing up within the Golden arches is nil.

The Minnesota Twins only serve Pepsi in their Target Stadium.
No Coke to be found there.

But certainly no one chooses their Fast Food restaurant or favorite ball team by the soda they serve, or don't serve.

Cola, despite millions of dollars on branding, is unfortunately indistinguishable amongst the masses. Sure, when they are side-by-side you can tell the difference in a taste test, but the difference is NOT so drastic that it would ruin your meal.

A waitress at a diner I frequent recently insisted that she has had customers walk out of the establishment because they wanted a Coke and was served a Pepsi.

Even my favorite China Buffet serves soda in tall red glasses that have the Pepsi logo on them.
(surely you can see the irony...why not Blue glasses?!)

In fact, when I order a 'Coke with no ice, lemon' with my meal, the waitress will ask me if Pepsi is "OK" if that's all they serve. (Surely they are concerned that I'll make a fuss like the before-mentioned senior citizen did...). No need to worry. I can tell the difference, but it wont ruin my meal.

Do folks in Atlanta feel pretty strong about the flavor differences? I understand they do more so there than elsewhere. Atlanta prides itself on being the home to Coca Cola, and has been drinking the product for over a century. Those taste buds are pretty well tuned in.

But when Average Joe makes a stink in a New Jersey restaurant because he wants a Coca Cola and not a Pepsi, I'm confused.

Or maybe I'm just so in love with soda that it's made me more accepting?
Hell, don't we always accept the flaws and short comings of those we love?
I'm a huge fan of contact sports, even though I know it's violent and sometimes bloody.

But alas, I digress...

Coca Cola and Pepsi are smart to form agreements with fast food chains and other establishments, but I don't think it's an issue of 'conversion'. If you can only get Pepsi at Taco Bell, and you eat at Taco Bell once a week, it doesn't mean you'll in short time stop drinking Coca Cola because you are 'conditioned' to.

No, in fact the smartest part of the exclusivity arrangements is that it ensures you 'x' cases of soda will be sold each week...because a LOT of people order a soda with the meal! So why give the customer a chance to NOT buy YOUR soda? Keep the competition the hell outta there!

Soda exclusivity in fast food restaurants.
Score one for good business, score none of cornering the market of one's mouth.


Footnote - my thanks to Seth Godin for the title. His recent blog post inspired me to write the article, even though it wasn't the basis of HIS thesis.