Wednesday, May 7, 2008

American Idol's David Archuleta makes me mad

I absolutely do not like to listen to David Archuleta sing. If you disagree with me, click here and join his fan club.

"WHO?!". You know, David Archuleta. American Idol. Cute little kid who always looks like he's gonna hyperventilate.

So, you might be asking why a blog about Soda would pick on a kid from American Idol? I promise to draw some parallels as we go along.

First, before I forget, let's not ignore the big cups of Coca Cola that appear in front of all 3 judges every Tuesday Night!

Ok, now back to the skinny kid:

We're in the "Final Four" of this listen. Archuleta has a killer voice...even more impressive given his young age...but week after week after week we've had to listen to this kid croon some syrupy crap that makes the teenagers and grandmas swoon.

(By the way, speaking of syrupy, did you realize that in most cases colas are made as a syrupy concentrate and later the bottlers add fizzy water to them to make them a 'soda'. Sure, it sounds simple, but it isn't. See here.

Anyway, here is my beef with little David: As the competition moves along, I expect for the contestants get out there and Whup Ass! I don't want to hear "crooning". I don't want to hear "Ballads" and "soulful renditions". GIMME THE POWER!!!!!!!

Worst still was the theme of last night's showdown was "Rock and Roll Hall of Fame". With all of the 'Rock' songs out there to choose from, he picks 2 ballads. (thanks for murdering a perfectly good Elvis song, David!)

So thanks, Archuleta, for making me sit thought 2 MORE painful, syrupy, sappy songs (I like alliteration). Now go home. There is a church choir or high school musical that can use your talents...but as an American Idol (in the literal sense of the word) you are not the best choice.

Don't get me wrong, he's a nice kid and I don't wish him any real harm...but I don't think an album called "The Best Ballads Ever, From the Cutest Kid Ever!" selling 6 million copies. In other words, this is no Chris Daughtrey you are looking at.

So sit down with a Pepsi Product tonight (Coke got a lot of press here, if you've checked out the links. I'm just being fair) and watch Little David grin and "Golly Gee" tonite. Then ask yourself if he REALLY represents the best music this show has to offer.


Peeta said...

I heartily concur with your David Archuleta rant!

Anonymous said...

You guys are wrong! David Archuleta rules!