Monday, August 25, 2008

Roy Rogers: No Free Refills and No Honey Mustard Sauce

I really don’t like to go to Roy Rogers. There is only 1 within a 10 mile radius of me…which tells me something…but my wife likes their Roast Beef. So, once in a while when we don’t’ want a McBurger we go to Roy Rogers.

It annoys me that Roy Rogers does not offer free refills on their Soda. I’ve talked about this before in an earlier blog post, but I just can’t get on board with it. Anyone over the age of 22 knows that fountain soda costs the company about .25 a cup. And since I’ve already PAID for the much are you losing by taking 5 seconds out of your day to put more soda IN my cup?

And since Roy Rogers has 7 teenagers behind their counter giggling and gossiping amongst each other…ONE of them can take 7 seconds from their busy night to give me a refill. It’s not like I asked them to hand me 2 more chicken breasts!

Ok, speaking of chicken breasts, the wife and I went to Roy Rogers for dinner over the weekend. (The segue here is to Roy Rogers…not to my wife’s breasts. Pay attention.)

We each ordered some kind of Roast Beef value meal (#4 on the menu…her’s with a Baked Potato, mine with Fries…) and a chicken breast that we were going to split. (now you see where the ‘breasts’ come in, right?)

The manager took my order and he’s putting the food on my plate as wife goes and gets napkins and straws and what have you. He says ‘Ok, that’s everything’ and then something occurs to me.
The conversation he and I had is so rediculous that I have to play it out for you so you can see the stupidity of it yourself.

Me: Ah, you know what? Can I trouble you for a Honey Mustard Sauce for the chicken.

He: Sure. Oh, wait. I’m sorry, that’s only for the chicken tenders.

Me: (Sure that he’s kidding): Ha ha. Right.

He: No, I’m serious. The dipping sauce is only for the chicken tenders, not the chicken breasts.

Me: You’re kidding.

He: No.

Me: You’re serious?!

He: Yes. Sorry. I can sell you one. They’re cheap. But I can only ‘give’ them to the customers who buy chicken tenders.

Me: (looking down at the chicken breast): Well…why don’t we ‘pretend’ I ordered chicken FINGERS instead of a chicken BREAST?

He (Smiling): Sorry. (then, very condescendingly) Then I’d have to do that for everyone.

(Editor’s note here - the place was empty. If there were 4 people behind me listening in on the conversation I MIGHT understand his perspective, but…)

Me: You’re serious.

He: Yeah. They’re only 27 cents if you’d like to buy one.

Me: I get FOUR free ones when I go to McDonald’s. I can’t bring myself to pay you .27 cents for one.

At this point, he shrugged and smiled, as if to say “Well, that’s your problem I guess. Sorry.”

Now, let me ask you….which is MORE ridiculous about this story:
a) Roy Rogers won’t give me a Honey Mustard sauce for my chicken or
b) the guy who is supposed to be the MANAGER has risked losing a customer (and by that I mean the whole family, not just me) over a 27 cent Honey Mustard sauce?!

Ludicrous, right?

Here’s the kicker – when I took my napkins from the Fixins Bar, I took MANY more than I needed…and I threw out what I didn’t use. Then I took 3 more ketchups than I needed and guess what? Trash. I also took 3 tomato slices but only used one.

Sure it’s silly…but the bigger picture is this: there is a LOT of money wasted on the Roy Rogers salad bar, which goes ungoverned. The STORE MANAGER potentially lost a customer over one honey mustard sauce. By saving 27 cents he potentially lost a LOT of business.

I’m picturing something like the movie ‘Airplane’. I’m picturing this dim bulb and I having the same conversation, only if you look over my shoulder you see a food fight breaking out with the Free Fixins Bar being used as the weaponry arsenal.

Maybe monkeys having the food fight...really LOUD monkeys that everyone seems to be ignoring.

Silly, right?
The whole thing is silly.
And bad business.

No free refills on soda is a bad policy.
No free honey mustard sauce an embarrassingly AWFUL policy.

I don’t think the Singing Cowboy would have made that decision. Do you…?

enjoy the Cola Wars on Squidoo!

Friday, August 22, 2008

128 cans of Coca Cola and Pepsi and $10 to Charity

What if you loved Pepsi and Coke so much that you went out and bought CASES of the stuff? How would you keep it nice and cold? Fill up the fridge? Where would you keep your eggs and milk then?!

What if you were having a party and you knew all of your friends liked Dr. Pepper and Mountain Dew...and you wanted to have the coldest sodas available at a moment's notice?

My friends at sell the 128 Can Danby Beverage Center.
(Sure, you can keep Jones Soda in it, too. But I don't think anyone buys 128 cans of Jones Soda at once...)

The Danby Beverage Center has 3 'full' shelves and 1 'half' shelf...and it's only 3.3 Cubic Feet in size. You can hold a LOT of soda here, in a small space.

But why buy it at Funds for Us?
Two reasons why:

1) Because they sell the item at $89.00 less than suggested retail, so you get it on sale and save almost $90.00
2) Because every time they sell one, they donate $10.47 to YOUR favorite charity. That's right, not a charity of THEIR choice. A Charity of YOUR choice.

So you throw your party, and you have lots of guests who are all very happy because their Diet Coke and A&W Root Beer is nice and cold. YOU are happy because they all showed up...and because you saved $90.00 on the Danby Beverage Center...and because you donated more than $10.00 to a worthwhile cause...

So now the Pepsi vs. Coke war can be waged at your party, by your favorite friends.

As we always say: Soda is Good...but an ICE COLD soda is REALLY Good!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

7 Most Relevant Coke and Pepsi stories of the Last Year?

Today marks the 1 year anniversary of Coke vs. Pepsi: Soda is Good. Thank you for indulging my desire to use Coca Cola and Pepsi as an analogy for stories about Politics, Business, Charity, Home Life and Pro Wrestling!

Using Google Analytics as a measuring tool, I surveyed the most read stories in the past year, and crossed them with the pages that readers spent the most time on. (So that if a page got 400 hits, but readers only spent 1 second on the page, it would not automatically top the charts.) This creates the ‘Coke vs. Pepsi Top 7 Most Relevant’ list for the last 12 months.

Why Top Seven? Because everyone else does a Top 5 or Top 10.
I’m an average guy with an average intelligence. So I chose the Average.

Let’s make something very clear: I have no skills in “making money with blogging” or “doubling readership through SEO techniques”. In other words, maybe G.A. is not the best tool and maybe some of the articles here from the last year should rank higher or lower in readership...but it is what it is. I'm not here to win any SEO awards. I'm just here to drink soda and then write about it.

So, let's look at the list...

The #7 Most Relevant Soda is Good story was Coca Cola to Hydrate the Poor Children. Written at the end of July this year, it talked about the work of Simon Berry, who’s vision is to see Coca Cola using it’s world wide distribution muscle to send more water and medicine to the sick and poor children in Third World Countries.

The #6 Most Relevant story was Killer Coke: A Strike and a Protest. Also written in July, it talked up's plan to stage a strike in New York City to protest the unfair and violent working conditions of Coca Cola's bottling plant in Columbia, South America.

I learned about the strike on their website and shared what I could find. Oddly, despite all of the updates and photos on their website's home page ... there is NO discussion about the strike! NONE! I have to guess that only 6 people showed up. This does not, of course, take away from how important KillerCoke's message is...

The #5 most relevant Coke vs. Pepsi story was called Coke or Pepsi...Smart or Silly? dating back to early May of this year, this quick little entry pointed out 2 websites that also discuss the "Pepsi vs. Coke" debate...although from 2 very different perspectives. One reads like a Science Journal, the other like a High School Freshman's attempt at journalism. Much love to High School Freshmen and Journalists alike...

The #4 most relevant Soda Story on this blog was called History of Coke and Pepsi...and Google. This one was written in August of LAST year, so I'm glad to see that not only the entries from the last 2 months are being read! This hard hitting, bone crunching, in depth analysis of which soda (Coca Cola or Pepsi) has more Google listing under the heading 'History of...' almost won me a Pulitzer.


The #3 most relevant Soda Story on this blog was called RAW: Pepsi versus Pro Wrestling. Next to soda, Pro Wrestling is my true love, and this article talked about how the WWE has a show called 'Raw' and Pepsi has a soda called 'Raw'. Suffice to say that one outsells the other one hundred fold!

The #2 most relevant Soda is Good story for the last 12 months was ALSO a Pro Wrestling story! No, I do not market exclusively to Pro Wrestling Fans, but apparently Pro Wrestling fans like Soda as much as I do! The story is called Pepsi and Pro Wrestling - Perfect for a Punk, and it discusses current WWE Champion C.M. Punk and his love for Pepsi.

This story was written back in March, and Punk was not heavyweight champion yet. I cannot say that Pepsi endorses C.M. Punk or the WWE...but if not then they are getting some free publicity whenever Punk goes shirtless! (Big Pepsi Symbol tatoo on his shoulder!)

The #1 Most Relevant Coke vs. Pepsi: Soda is Good story for the last 12 months...according to the in depth analysis I took about 15 minutes to called Coca Cola Prices Going Up, Pepsi Prices Going Up Next? No, I was not able to think up a LONGER title so I went with that one. Apparently, this one really IS relevant, since it talks about:
1) Coca Cola
2) Pepsi
3) The Economy
4) Your Wallet.

So suffice to say that even if you are not a Pro Wrestling fan, you still found some relevant and important stories here to indulge yourself in.

You might also see, looking at the Top 7, that neither Coke nor Pepsi are the 'True Victory' in the war of the words, much less the war of the worlds. Both brands have plenty interesting information to offer.

2 quick honorable mentions:

1) obviously, as you add more content to a blog, the most read pages get spread out further. For the longest time, one of the top 5 most read stories was Coke Zero adds Big Boobs to their Latin Advertising. I am going to guess that the majority of the readers were males between the ages of 16 and 36. Ladies, you might be pleased to know that Coke and their Big Boobs fell out of the Top 7 last month.

2) One story that I thought was really clever was not my story at all...but rather some intimation on an essay I read and was really entertained by. The entry was called The Difference Between Pepsi and the Pope, and I want to thank author Denise Duhamel and her book Queen for a Day for the great essay!

There is a lot going on in the world, as far as Coke and Pepsi is concerned. Do feel free to leave your comments and share with me the Soda Stories you'd like to see top the list in the months to come!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Which Soda (entry) is Best?

I wanted to let you know that this Wedensday, August 20th, marks the 1 year anniversary of Coke vs. Pepsi: the Soda is Good blog.

You may recall all the way back at the beginning that the hardest part of getting this blog off the ground was finding an available domain name! LOL!

On Wednesday, I plan to share with you a 'Best of' from the Coke vs. Pepsi archives.

In the meantime...and all Coke and Pepsi aside...let me share with you why some consider Jones Soda the Best Soda Ever.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Coke, Pepsi, Your Teeth and a Dentist

When I was a kid (stop me if you heard this one already...) we poured a cup of soda and dropped a nail into it. We left the cup of soda on top of the friedge where it wouldn't spill.

1 week later, we took the cup down and pulled out the nail. Oh MAN how corroded it looked!

My friend turned to me and said "If soda can do this to a nail...imagine what it does to your stomach lining!"

So of course, it deterred me from drinking soda.

NOT! I was a teenager! I only drank soda when it was made available to me, anyway!

Well, a trip to the dentist and I'm getting a lecture on how bad soda is for your teeth.

(Disclaimer: I have decent teeth. Bad gums, but decent teeth).

Then I got the bill for services rendered (scraping and scaling...told you I had bad gums!) and had to take out a seecond mortage to pay the bill.

A month later, it turns out my 7 year old has a cavity.

(How the hell did he get a cavity?! I got my first cavity when I was 25!!!)

They filled that little bastard and charged me $169.00!

So today, I want to draw the connection between how drinking soda will remind you that you need affordable Dental Care.

You see, I don't have dental insurance. Yes, my wife is constantly after me about how I should hav a job that has dental insurance. But I don't. SO, when someone needs their teeth worked on...we cry.

Today, more and more companies are cutting out Dental and Optical plans and making employees pay into their medical plans. This small piece of information at LEAST allows me the satisfaction of knowing that I am not the ONLY person without dental care.

That's why I need affordable dental care. So do you. If you drink soda, you REALLY do!

If you drink Soda as much as I really, really do!

I have been told by my dentist (who, odly enough, went to college with someone I knew in High School! Small world, huh?!) that not all dental plans are equal, and some are not worth the expense.

Now, I'm a soda guy...not a dental insurance I can't tell you which firm to go with.

I CAN tell you that I looked at a firm called

Why? Well because they had a website that was easy to remember.

It looked pretyt thorough, too.

So, in recapping, let's agree that:

1) if you like soda you should read this blog becasue it's all I talk about

2) if you like soda you should have a good gastro-internist...given what can happen to your stomach lining.

3) if you like soda you should have a good dentist.

4) if you have a good dentist you should have an affordable Dental Plan.

5) if you like Cherry Coke you'll probably like Dr. Pepper.

Ok, I just winged it on that last one.

See? Who said I couldn't throw together a well thought out post in only 10 minutes? :)

Friday, August 8, 2008

Win a Free XBox 360

I wasn't going to blog today, as I have a lot to get done in a short period of time, but I found a soda-related website that is advertising that through buying their product you can win a free Xbox 360! (and some other stuff, too!)

It's the Mountain Dew Instant Win Game...and you can read all about it here.

(Just last night, after offering a friend a Miller Chill, he told me that his favorite beverage is Mountain Dew. I replied that I was big on the Dew until this past Easter, when I drank so much of it I could taste it in my mouth for days to follow. Need a break. Started shopping at the Jones Soda Store. Then switched to Cherry Pepsi.)

In a non-soda related story, you can also win a free Xbox 360 here.
This site looks AWFULLY simple...I'm too busy (as I said) to check it out, so if YOU check it out please let me know what it entails.

(Actually, if you type "Free XBox 360" in Google you'll get 1,230,000 matches. I don't know what cave I was sleeping in, but I have NO idea what kind of promotion every last person is offering on Xbox's behalf. Of course, I'm still rockin' the GameCube.)

Lastly...look gradually to your right for a second. See that Orange-Blue-and-White banner offering a 30 second video on how to make your own soda? Check it out. It's very cool, and if you drink as much soda as I do it's a great tool to consider owning!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Coke + Pepsi + Red Bull = Purple

Years ago, I used to invest periodically in Mutual Funds and individual stocks. about twice a year the Investor's Daily Business Journal would offer me a free 10-day subscription...which I would always accept and then at the end of the 10 days I'd tell them I had no interest in subscribing.

The down side is that now once a week I get mail from someone's Penny Stock newsletter, alerting me to some new stock that's about to make everyone a Jagillionaire.

Yeah, right.

99% of them I throw into the garbage without even opening it. However, last night I got one and the envelope intrigued me. It said, in so many words, that Coke was a once a Big Money stock, and Pepsi was once a Big Money stock...and now 'Purple' is a Big Money stock.

Yeah, right.

But this was about SODA, and you know I like I opened it up and read a little.

I don't believe in penny stocks and I'm not going to suggest you buy this stock. I'm not going to give you the stock symbol or tell you why this stock is poised to go thru the roof. In fact, 'Purple' is NOT a's a beverage, like Grape Juice or Yoo I'm probably not going to think twice about it after I get done typing this.

HOWEVER, there WAS a soda-related fact that makes Purple a little interesting: A good portion of Purple's management comes from Pepsi, Coca Cola and/or Red Bull!

According to the newsletter I received:

Michael Lorelli, who is credited with building PepsiCola East, is Purple's new Strategic Marketing Advisor.

Michael McKee - who played a big part in building Coca Cola's Fuze Beverage brand, has joined Purple.

Dan Morelli, Keith Reilly, Marc de Grandpre and Lou Aceto...all former Red Bull marketing executives...have joined Purple.

You are probably asking 'what IS this Purple??!? Has Prince started a beverage franchise?!'

Purple is a juice that combines the acai berry with 6 other antioxidant-rich juices. You've heard of the acai berry, right? Oprah has singing it's praises a while back and then everyone went out and either bought some or started a beverage line based on it's juice.

Sure, acai and other anti-oxidant berry are the rave now, so Purple has a good-enough chance to survive it's use of first-round funding. Will it's stock make you rich? Time will tell. In fairness, I'll check the ticker price again in 6 months and give you an update.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Obama Cola. Presidential RockStar?

John McCain is positioning Barack Obama as too celebrity to be taken seriously as a Presidential Candidate. Like he's a rock star of some kind.

This makes for great segue, as far as Coke vs. Pepsi is concerned.

You can buy the John McCain campaign cola here.

You can buy Barack Obama campaign cola here.

Obama, being regarded to as a Rock Star, is not affiliated with RockStar Energy Drink...which you can buy here.

Obama wants to pull out of Iraq, McCain wants to stay and Whup Ass. You can buy WhoopAss Energy Drink here.

If there is one person who should get their ass whooped, it's Ron Paul. However, you can still buy HIS campaign cola here.

I would have been clever, in hindsight, to tell you that the McCain beverage tastes like it's 70 years old and the Ron Paul beverage comes in a can that's empty...but that would be political humour and this Homey don't Play Dat.

Eat, Drink and Enjoy Politics.
In fact, Eat, Drink and Enjoy this You Tube video called "Soda and Politics"
(this is not my video...this is not me IN the video....I just found it and thought it was relevant.)